


Days Yet To Come

by cuartist, freckledheart



Series: Happy Birthday Keerthi! [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuartist/pseuds/cuartist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledheart/pseuds/freckledheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon compliant Jily set the New Years after graduation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Yet To Come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InsertPseudonym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertPseudonym/gifts).



New Years Eve, 1978

Potter/Evans/Lupin residence

Music was playing in the living room, a tape softly winding its way through a mix of the holiday songs James had been hearing his whole life and the muggle tunes that Lily’d grown up on- a soothing blend to cook to. He was in the kitchen, food warming in the oven and atop the stove at once, and Remus and Lily were cleaning in the den (a division of labor agreed upon by everyone, seeing as somehow, James was the only one who could do any significant amount of cooking without accidentally lighting something on fire, a skill that everyone collectively agreed was a permutation of the Potter potions aptitude).

“Hey Prongs, I’m heading out- need me to get anything else from the store?” That was Remus, pulling on a hat and getting ready to brave the actual-snowy-weather before heading out to get Peter and shop for the drinks for the night.

“Nah, I’ve got things pretty under control in here—comes from being able to plan ahead or something,” James called back, smiling as Lily slipped into the kitchen to (doubtlessly) sneak a taste from one of the pots on the stove.

“Try that one,” he said, pointing with his spoon as the silverware drawer rattled open, and she did, smiling; kissed him on the shoulder as she went back to the living room with her prize to start on the decorations for the night.

James smiled, humming to himself as Lily’s murmured spellwork started up in the next room over. A year and a half ago, if you’d have told him this would be his life, he wouldn’t’ve believed it, but here he was. Here they were, he and Lily, in an apartment where they _lived together_ , because they were _dating_ , and they were good together. Good for each other in a way they weren’t quite yet when they were young, and they were gonna keep being good-

The music cut off with a crash, and Lily swore, voice flat, spoon clattering to the floor. The song didn’t come back on, no quick spell to fix it, and when he went to see if everything was alright, she was kneeling over the pieces of the tape player holding the unspooled tape they’d made in hands that shook.

“Hey, Lil, what’s wrong? Lily?” he asked, quiet, careful.

“It’s fine. Everything- it’s fine,” she replied, tonelessly, still visibly shaking. Closer, now, he realized she was pale, too, a reverse blush he’d only ever really seen her wear out of fear. And they were living in a war, and it was all too common anymore to be facing fear, but-

“There’s _nothing wrong, James_ ,” she whispered.

“You can talk to me, Lil,” he whispered back, insistent as she was; frowning now, like she was.

“About what, James, everything’s alright, everything is fine-”

“Yeah, and you decided to break the tape player on purpose, ‘cause that’s the fastest way to turn it off.”

“Obviously.”

“Seriously, Lily, please just talk to me,” he said, tears starting to gather at the corners of his eyes. Hers were already falling.

“Oh my _god_ , James, seriously, there’s nothing, it’s all just-” They knelt nearly face to face, a handsbreadth apart; her words stumbled to a stop as he took her hand, and she pulled him into a crushing hug, burying her face in his chest.

This time when she spoke, her voice was small again.

“I am so afraid, James.”

The silence was so loud, pressing into them both, heavy as night, heavy as the war, heavy as the snow that filled the world around their small oasis.

“And I’m so, so tired of being afraid, because were it not for, for everything, the life we have, this is where happily ever afters begin, but every time one of us walks out that door, we might not come back, and there’s nothing we can do to change that, and,” she took a shuddering breath, “I want every future we’ve dreamed of, I do want to get married, and, and everything, but. Wanting is a terrible thing because the more you care the more it hurts and the bigger the fear is and James, I’m just so, so tired of being afraid.”

“I am too,” he said, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “I am too, Lil, I’m so tired of it, and I wish there was something I could do to just magic it away, the war and the fear and-”

“And everything,” she finished for him. “I wish I could just vanish it away, too.”

They were quiet then for a while, curled together among the shards on the ground, the discarded spoon from the kitchen softly reflecting the light from above. James wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, gentle with his big hands (quidditch hands, before; kitchen hands, now. Hands made, he sometimes thought, for loving her).

“We can’t do a thing to control the future, there’s nothing more we could do to change the world we’re living in. But I can control me. I can make my own choices, and as long as I’ve got the chance Lily, I’ll be choosing you, I’ll be choosing us. You’re it for me,” he said softly, and the tears were threatening to come back again. She leaned up then and kissed him, her eyes as bright and wavering as his were.

“You’re it for me too,” she whispered, and they were still for awhile more, breathing together. And it was together that they continued decorating, hand in hand as they mended the tape and sent gossamer-light streamers of gold to drape about the room.

Soon they’d returned to the kitchen, Lily sat upon the counter, teasing James as he carefully coaxed the cooking dishes away from the edge of starting-to-burn (thankfully, the oven was charmed to go immediately to room temperature once it’s contents were through cooking). The music, restored, was interrupted shortly.

“Cover my eyes for me, boys,” Sirius called out as the door flew open, “We can’t know what we’re walking in on, and my hands are too busy right now,” Remus and Peter snickered as they followed him in- “Busy holding my cupcakes, god, what did you think you _perverts_ ,” he declared dramatically.

Admittedly, he had reason to be wary to walk into a room James and Lily had been left alone in. Not today, though- today, everyone crowded into the kitchen, trading smiles and hugs, and James could swear Sirius had gotten taller again whilst he was traveling. No one talked much about what they’d been doing for the order- they all knew that talking about his travels just made Sirius think about how much time he spent missing everyone, and Peter (despite all the questions he had for everyone) dropped to one word answers when asked about his order work, hands visibly shaking.

They all had things they’d rather not dwell on, and this of all nights wasn’t for that, so instead they gossiped about their friends, settled the cupcakes carefully atop the fridge, laughed together over Sirius’s telling stories of mishaps in muggle baking shops ( _I swear, if one more person assumes I’m shopping for some girl’s project, not my own…_ ). Other guests arrived shortly, coming in small groups to the door: Frank and Alice, Marlene (who hugged Lily for nearly fifteen minutes straight when she arrived, the two of them beaming), Emmeline Vance.

The last few guests were arriving at eight, when James’s parents popped their heads through the fireplace to chat for a few moments, offering good wishes for the new year and good luck dealing with the extra kick from the punch. (“Thanks, Monty,” Sirius called from the back of the room, Remus’s “I swear, you’re the only person who gets away with calling him anything but Fleamont” drawing more than a few laughs).

It was a golden night, that he knows he’ll remember; the light reflecting off the streamers and tinting the whole night with a nostalgic glow, even as it happened. The punch definitely delivered, people’s smiles probably the clearest memory he kept of the night, interspersed with the flares of happiness. Frank and Alice talked about their engagement, Alice smiling down at the ring she’d been surprised with for Christmas; Sirius spent the whole night snapping pictures with a polaroid filled with muggle film, the captured moments unmoving in the photos it spat out. Lily and Marlene laughed long and loud, breathless as Peter brought the rest of the room to stitches with an absolutely brilliant story that no one could properly recount in whole, when they later tried.

Soon enough, midnight neared, and talk turned to the past year, and life after graduation. Together they reminisced on times past, tentatively spoke their dreams for the future, resolutions. (Remus stared a bit too long at Sirius as they spoke of hope, just missing the too long stare he’d been subjected to in turn- James didn’t miss it though. He’d known those two were on the brink of _something_ for years, was hoping they’d figure it out soon).

Ten seconds to midnight, everyone ready to toast with glasses of something effervescent and sweet, and as the countdown reached zero, Lily kissed him on her tiptoes, smiling into his smile as they drew apart. Cheers filled their apartment, joy at making it through another year rippling through their friends.

“Look how far we’ve made it, Lils,” said Marlene, and the two of them hugged. Over their heads James could see a flush on Sirius’s cheeks, and determination in the set of Remus’s- it didn’t take much to put the puzzle pieces together. Especially when whatever had happened at midnight was followed by Sirius taking Remus’s face in his hands and kissing him once, twice, a flurry of kisses that had probably been too long in coming.

He nudged Lily, Marlene’s hugs having moved on around the room, and she smiled as she saw what he was pointing out.

“I’m glad for them,” she said, and he hummed in agreement. “They deserve any happiness they can find.”

She leaned into his side, looking out at the room full of their friends, and his heart was practically achingly full with how much he loved her.

“Hey, Lil” he started, softly.

“Hmm?” She looked up at him, eyes half closed with contentment and drowsiness.

“Happy New Years,” he murmured, kissing her softly on the forehead.

“Happy New Years,” she replied.

 _It will be_ , he thought, his mind on the ring in his pocket, the silent resolution he’d made to ask her soon, on a day just their own. _It will be_.

 **  
** The Beginning

 


End file.
